sam used to be a blow queen.

Two reasons why I love eBay:

1. As a poor, poor student I can get wonderfully wonderful stuff pretty cheap.
2. I can get a cell worth £130 for £36 brand new!

Boo-Yah!

It's been so sunny & warm these passed few days that the majority of my college hours are spent lounging on the grass with friends & avoiding the torrent of water bombs that seems to of appeared quite suddenly.

My moods are so strongly affected by the weather it's almost scary.
I love the warm, sunny weather so much - it makes me feel so upbeat, happy and beautiful in myself. I feel so confident when the sun is shining; all I want to do is be out there and feel the cold breeze on my arms, the warm sun on my face and feel the freshly cut grass under my feet.
Speaking of freshly cut grass - the smell always transports me to being a kid, playing in the park with my friends during summer break. Fun times.

It's strange, and kind of sad, that the moment we get a hint of sunshine here in England people are whipping their tops off and parking their behinds in beach chairs all day. It's also kind of sad that as we hardly get any sunshine here my eyes aren't used to it so I have to retreat to the cover of my bedroom for a while so the headaches and burning pains will go away.
Pft.

I'm currently watching "Am I Normal?" on BBC2. I've never watched it and was going to turn it over until I heard the subject of tonight's episode: our good ol' friend sex.

I enjoy sex. I really, really do enjoy it and I'm not ashamed to openly admit that I enjoy sex and I admit I also enjoy masturbation but it's not just the physical side of sex that I enjoy but also the spiritual and emotional sides of sex.
To me, sex is not only about the physical connection - the orgasms but the the fact that sex is the highest, most wonderful way of expressing my love for my fiance. Sex, to me, is the ultimate way of connecting on a higher level with your partner.

I enjoy giving blow jobs. I enjoy being touched, being licked, being stroked. I enjoy being desired - being wanted by my partner but only my partner.

I hate the way our "generation" views sexuality these days. That if a woman isn't running around shagging everyone or has had at least 5 partners by the time she's 20 there's something wrong with her. She's frigid. She's prudish.
If she isn't clarting on makeup 5 inches thick, bleaching her hair and inflating her breasts to ridicules sizes that she's ugly. She has no confidence.

Don't get me wrong, I like wearing makeup and wearing clothes that cling in all the right places and yes, I do enjoy it when people compliment me on my looks or I get looked at in the street, in bars but I don't get off on it. I don't purposely go out with my boobs hanging out so I'll purposely get looked at and wanted.
I do it for me. If I'm not having a good day I'll put on some makeup and do my hair to make me feel better about myself. If you like it too, fine. Look - I don't care but don't think I'm doing it for you.

Sure, if you want to go around shagging everything with it's own hair and teeth then feel free; who am I to tell you it's wrong, that you shouldn't do it? Do as you please but please, use a condom and spare me the details the next day.

/rant.

What was your first car?

I don't drive yet neverless own a car! But my first car would have to be a satellite blue or silver VW Beetle 2.0. Although, I did got through a phase of wanting a lime green herse a'la Claire Fisher but changed my mind; thank goodness?

Hopefully I'll be starting lessons in the summer when I have more time & I'll be one step closer to owning my own little bug car.

There's been no post for two (three?) days now. Normally an incident on this scale wouldn't even register on my radar but I'm waiting to here back from a job I applied for. This does not bode well.

Also, I've lost my cell phone.

In other news, todaymy fiance & I went to see The Eye re-make with Jessica Alba & a load of other people I don't recognize. It was OK - better than I thought it would be considering it's an American re-make of a good Asian film but it was better than the remakes of The Ring & The Grudge; but then again I could smear the contents of my cats litter tray onto a piece of paper, call it a script and produce a better movie than those tired, horrid pieces of "cinema".
Also, it didn't stray too much from the original story line which I always find appealing in re-makes. I'm also slightly cheesed off that I went in that cinema with £20 and came back out with 40 pence.

A much more, in depth review at a later date I promise, but right now I have a date with some LOLcats & later on, my bed. I'm such a two timing little hussy.

I got bored of the whole Livejournal scene. Far too much drama going on there. I was just going to shut shop and leave the internet for a while but my life is getting wonderfully strange & scary lately and I guess I need somewhere to blog; to keep me occupied and sane.

It's strange to think about but this time last year I was in a shitty, painfully screwed up relationship, on a dead-end college course and barley looking ahead a day never mind a month. But a year on I'm engaged (to a different, much more wonderful person I may add), sort of happy with my college course and looking into getting a job and a flat. It's all so overwhelming but you know what? I'm blissfully happy.

I guess I'm just scared of growing up. Of having bills to pay. Of having to manage m own money a bit more. Of having responsibility but I suppose it comes to us all in the end right?
I guess this now means I have to learn how to use an iron & a washing machine.